Frequently Asked Questions

If you have a question that you don't see listed, please do drop us an e-mail and ask!

So, what are you all about?

BWMT-DC is a social, support, service and educational group formed in September 1980, promoting friendships and relationships among gay and bisexual men of all races, and the acceptance and welcoming of such relationships in the broader community. We have regular potluck socials, a monthly rap session, day trips and evenings out; and we do periodic educational and activist work, too. We are "a multi-racial organization dedicated to providing a supportive environment for gay men to work together to understand racial and cultural differences and celebrate diversity."

Are you connected with a national group?

Yes. BWMT-DC is the local chapter of the National Association of Black and White Men Together (NABWMT), composed of some 30 chapters in North and South America. NABWMT provides workshops and resources to support local chapters and promote anti-racism work, and maintains liaison and cooperation with other national LGBT organizations. It holds an annual week-long convention every July at which hundreds of men (and some women) from our local chapters come together to hear nationally acclaimed speakers, attend workshops, do business, and--perhaps most important--renew old friendships and make new ones.

How do I find out about upcoming events?

That's easy! Just check the home page or the monthly newsletter of this site from time to time, or contact BWMT-DC!

How many members do you have?

We have approximately 90 members -- both couples and singles.

Are you, like, um...er...a sex club?

Nope--sorry. Certainly some men might "connect" from time to time with other men they meet at our functions, which is wonderful, but we are not a sex club.

How many members and officers are black, and how many are white?

The chapter serves the whole DC area, and our membership reflects the black-white demographics of our region. We have been successful in achieving black-white parity in formal and informal leadership positions, although this is not formally required. Of the nine current members of our elected Steering Committee, five members are African-American and four are European-American.

What if I'm of mixed racial heritage? Or Latino, or Asian, or Native American? Would I be welcome, and would I fit in?

You would definitely be welcome and, if you're a basically nice guy, you should fit right in! We welcome men of all races, colors and backgrounds in our international region. The whole point of BWMT-DC and the Black and White Men Together movement, after all, is to tear down society's racial and color barriers, build bridges, and forge friendships and relationships among men of all nations.

Why are you called "Black and White Men Together," when similar groups in other places are called "Men of All Colors Together" or "People of All Colors Together"?

Our name is mainly a function of our long history and the existing social dynamics of the community. Washington in the early 1980s was in many respects still a "Southern town" in which the principal barrier erected between human beings was that between African-Americans and European-Americans. Despite much progress, black-white social segregation remains a huge challenge in Washington, including in our gay community. Washington has become truly an international city in the past quarter-century, with people (including gay and bisexual men) moving here from all over the world. We periodically revisit the question of our name.

What is the age range of your members?

We welcome and enjoy a broad range of ages in the group; our current members include men from their twenties to their seventies. Anyone age 18 or older who supports our purposes is welcome to join BWMT-DC and/or participate in our events and activities.

Do you engage in activism, or are you mainly a social group?

We are primarily a social and support organization, but BWMT-DC also has a long history of community education and activism against the twin evils of racism and homophobia. We were especially active in the 1980s in confronting and working to end de facto discrimination against African-Americans and other men of color in some gay bars and public establishments. We continue to work, as an essential part of our mission, for visibility and acceptance of interracial same-sex relationships, and to promote positive anti-racism as an essential personal and community goal among gay and bisexual men.

Do I have to be out or be an activist to be a member?

No. BWMT-DC has always been, and will continue to be, a safe, supportive and comfortable place for men who simply want to meet, socialize, and build friendships and relationships with other men of all races. We are very conscious that ours is not yet a society in which everyone feels safe being openly gay or bisexual, or in which attraction and relationships that break racial barriers are fully accepted, even within the gay community. This is why our chapter continues to exist. We hope everyone's safety and comfort level will grow over time, and it's toward achieving that goal that some of us do engage in public activism. But every black man who loves white men, and every white man who loves black men--even those who are most deeply in the closet--should always feel right at home with us.

Is there a similar group for lesbians and bisexual women?

We don't know of a formal organization, although informal social groups doubtless exist. If such an organization or network does form, we'll be sure to link to it!

I don't have a car available. How would I get to, say, a social in the burbs?

If we have social events that aren't easily Metro-accessible, and if you give us reasonable advance notice, we can arrange for someone to give you a ride, or at least to pick you up and drop you back at the Metro. Just contact BWMT-DC. Please give us reasonable advance notice if you need a ride!

Are your events accessible to people with disabilities?

We do hold events and gatherings in a variety of locations, often in private homes, and some are more physically accessible than others. If you have special needs, please don't hesitate to contact BWMT-DC about the event/s you'd like to attend, and we'll do what we can to help make the event accessible. Again, please do give us reasonable advance notice.

Do I have to be a member to take part in your activities?

No. Our raps are open to the public free of charge. And our monthly potluck socials are open to newcomers and visitors as well; for these we assess a small door charge ($5 if you bring a dish, $10 if you don't) to help cover our costs.

What do I get as a member that I wouldn't get otherwise?

Membership does have its privileges. As a member of BWMT-DC, you'll receive a subscription to our monthly newsletter and admission to our monthly potlucks free of charge (if you bring a dish to share) or at reduced cost (if you don't). And you get a voice and a vote in electing our Steering Committee and making major decisions. Plus you get the satisfaction of knowing that your membership dues help support both our outreach efforts locally and our national Black and White Men Together movement.

Do you sell or give away your membership list? Will I get spammed if I sign up? Will I be outed if I sign up? (Etc.)

That's easy. NO! Our mailing and phone lists, including e-mail, are strictly confidential and are not shared with any other organization.

Sounds great. HOW DO I JOIN?

1. Complete our membership form on your computer.
2. Print out the completed form.
3. Mail to the address on the form with your dues payment. (The address is on the form.) Or bring it to our next potluck.

You can now begin taking advantage of our membership privileges!

Again, if you have a question that you don't see listed, please do drop us an e-mail and ask!